HAPPY 28TH BIRTHDAY, WESLEY!

With Kjersti and Danae each expecting her firstborn child, my mind has often gone back to the time when I was expecting Wesley. At that time, they didn't have ultrasound, so I didn't have the advantage of knowing whether I was carrying a boy or a girl. But I did feel all the same excitement, as well as the dread, of being pregnant for the first time. Unlike either of them, however, I have felt the sublime happiness that comes with the birth of my first child.

That happiness has continued throughout Wesley's life. Each of his new experiences was a new experience for me as well, from the perspective of being his mother. I remember, for example, pulling him in the wagon when I would walk into downtown Provo. A complete stranger stopped me one day and pointed out to me how absolutely straight and proudly he held his back when he was sitting in the wagon. Another neighbor said to me, "You are pulling a million dollars behind you there." And I was.

I remember how hard it was for me on his first day of school -- sending my precious son out into that cold world where I knew other children could be so cruel, where I knew other people would not see him as I saw him. I felt so protective of him, not wanting him to be hurt or rejected as I was. I wanted only the best things for him, but as he grew up, it was more and more out of my power to control how he was treated or what happened to him.

I remember Wesley and Jason Brown building a fort in the trees in our back yard. What a great time they had. It took me a while to realize that the fun of it for them was in the actual building of it, not in the having it finished. They had no more finished building it than they had it torn down again to make improvements in it. Jason was a good friend to Wesley.

When Wes and I moved our little family into the house on Mill Street, there was one night when Wesley was in another room watching the movie, "Superman." He had such a tender heart that he came crying through the house, calling, "The baby, the baby!" We finally understood that Wesley was distressed for the Baby Superman, who was being put into the capsule which brought him to Earth. Wesley was afraid they were hurting the baby. I also think about the picture I have of Wesley lying asleep on the floor next to his dad. They are stretched out side by side, legs crossed at the ankles, and although Wesley is only about half as tall as his father, he is mimicking his dad in every detail. As a child, Wesley adored his dad.

I was frightened beyond words when we found out that Wesley had a rare kidney disease and again when we discovered he had a rare form of cancer. Wesley hated needles, but went through blood tests and a biopsy with his kidney disease when he was nine, and then again went through blood tests, a biopsy and surgery with his cancer when he was fourteen. Even though I would have gladly suffered these things for him if I could have, I was proud of him for the courage he showed. During the time we were all worrying and wondering about his cancer and seeing him through the surgery, he was still able to earn his Eagle Scout Award. It was perhaps because of these experiences that he had the courage to live and teach in China and to live and work in Alaska. He has learned to face the unknown with strength and confidence.

I loved watching Wesley in concerts and plays when he was in high school. He participated with such talent, enthusiasm and good nature. I can imagine him in his most recent role in the Little Shop of Horrors. I only wish I could have seen him perform. I know he was the Best One.

So now, at 28, Wesley is an accomplished writer who has an open, rational mind. He is not afraid to try new things or to think for himself. I still love him as much as I ever did, but now I can also respect and look up to him for the fine man he has become.

I love you, Wesley. Have a wonderful birthday and much success and satisfaction in the coming year.