Looking Back

It has been more that a month now since I was given my first grandson, courtesy of Danae and Gary. The morning that Isaac Blake Lilyquist was born, I got a knock on my door at about 4:00 a.m. Kjersti was breathless as she told me that Danae was in the hospital in labor. My first feeling was one of relief for Danae. I was so glad that she wouldn’t have to go through weeks of the pain and discomfort she had been feeling during the end of her pregnancy. I quickly got dressed and drove with Kjersti to the hospital. Danae was doing well, having already received an epidural before we got there. Her labor progressed well while Chelsee came and then left for work and while her dad arrived to be with her. She had labored for about 5 hours (since the time I had gotten there) and had pushed for an hour and a half, when the doctor suddenly decided that the baby was in trouble and they needed to do an emergency C-section. In just seconds, it seemed, my thoughts changed from “this is going well and will be over soon,” to “my daughter and my grandson are in trouble and I am helpless to do anything.” I was so glad that Allison arrived from Nevada just in time to go with Danae into the operating room. I was confident that she would do an even better job supporting Danae than I could do. As it turned out, I only had to experience my worst fears and helplessness for a few minutes. A nurse came to tell me that the baby’s heart rate had risen with some medication they had given Danae to stop her labor, so the C-section would not have to be done as an emergency. Again, I was relieved and grateful. I didn’t hear any more about Danae and the baby until they were about to be brought back to the room. A nurse told me that Danae had had the C-section, that Danae was fine and that that was all she could say about it. The way that she said it made me think there was something that she was intentionally not saying. Instead of relieving my mind, she had suddenly made me feel afraid that there had been some unexpected complications or something. I asked if the baby were okay. The nurse said yes, the baby was fine and then she repeated that that was all she could say about it. I have wondered many times why she put it that way. Why did she emphasize that she couldn’t say any more about it? When Danae and Isaac were brought back to their room, they were indeed fine and I could finally feel that everything was and would be okay.

I enjoyed the next few days, visiting Danae and Isaac in the hospital and then staying with them in the daytime during the whole next week. I don’t know how useful I was, since about all I did was hold the baby and watch television. I got hooked on “Project Runway” and even had to have Danae record the season finale for me, since I had to leave before I saw it. Danae seemed like a “natural” with her new son and handled things like a pro. Isaac delighted me whenever he opened his eyes and looked around his new home. He seemed so wise and calm about life. I loved his little squeaks and coos. I was reminded many times of how much I had loved my own babies and how proud I was of them during every stage of their growing up years. I was and am amazed at how quickly the time passes and how it seems such a short time ago that my adult children were babies just like Isaac.

On Friday of that week, Chelsee and I traveled to Cedar City to join Allison and Steve for dinner that night and then to see The Merchant of Venice the next afternoon. It was a thought-provoking and somewhat disturbing play to me, but it was very well-performed and we had a great time together. We love talking and talking in a little coffee shop called the Pastry Pub and then walking to the college from there to take pictures and visit the “Masters of the Universe” (I can never remember what the place is really called) on campus. This time we even found a new little place in Cedar City called Lighthouse Coffee that we all loved. (See Allison’s blog about it.) We decided to visit it every time we are in town, because it is such a cool place. Any other Shakespeare fans in the family are invited to come to Cedar City with us next year and see some plays, right Allison?

I have appreciated all the love and support I have felt from my children during the past month or so. I have delighted in both of my grandchildren and continue to be amazed at how smart and beautiful they both are. They were so cute in their Halloween costumes and I have loved seeing what good parents they both have. I feel very gratified when I see my children interact with each other with so much love and companionship. After all of the turbulence between Kjersti and Danae when they were teenagers, they actually seem to like each other now. I am looking forward to seeing you all together at my house for the Thanksgiving holiday and then… it is on to Christmas!